I hope that sharing my experiences with others will help, whether it be a child that is in a dark place or a parent looking for a way to reach out.
I have struggled with poor self-esteem for a while. The transition into High School was really difficult for me. I'm not going to lie. I was always very quiet and struggled to make friends. I kept to myself a lot and was alone during breaks almost all the time. I had tried to choke myself twice at the end of Grade 7. It seemed to all go downhill from there.
I eventually fell into a serious depression. The first time I self harmed I was terrified. I just wanted everything to be normal again. I wanted to be happy again.
On top of it I also have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). It made making friends even more difficult. In about the 2nd term I was cyber bullied via whatsapp. I hated my life and all I wanted to do was end it. In the 3rd term I was admitted to Christiaan Barnard Memorial Hospital on the 20th of August and put under Suicide watch. I was then admitted to Tjiger Clinic on Monday, the 23rd of August. IT helped a lot with what I was going through. I made life long friends who helped me in ways I can't describe.
It's 2017 now and last year was full of hell but I also learned a lot about myself and I have grown not only with maturity but as a person too. I am still figuring stuff out as I am still a teenager but when I was in my darkest moments I couldn't see a future for myself let alone a light at the end of the tunnel. Music and art helped a lot and are still one of my favourite passions. I have learned to live for myself instead of to please others. I have a motto in life and it was very inspirational for me "Vincit Qui Patitur" which comes from Latin origin and translates to "He conquers who endures". It is from the Roman scholar and satirist Persius.
I have learned to love myself and I live for me now. To any lost or conflicted souls, it really does get better.